The Legacy Of Love: Rooted In Nativity.
There’s a fascination I have towards “the return of the dead”. Whenever I read about it, I smile for the reason that it tickles. It tickles considering I bear a part of someone that used to be…
Someone close to me asked recently, “what would you say is your value or something you want to be known for?” I thought about it for a few seconds and uttered “Love”. Beyond doubt, this is what I want to be known for. This is who I want to be remembered as when I leave this earth. This is my intended signature for life. But what’s more interesting is, this legacy of love was handed to me by Reincarnation.
I went home after a long while in November this year. I took a casual leave so I could at least remember what my father’s house and the land of my birth looks like. The experience was refreshing. I took the opportunity to visit loved ones and recognize how faithful God has been to them. I visited my GrandPa. The visit felt like I returned to my source for reinvigoration. Stronger roots got established in my nativity.
Nkoyo David Etukudo Udondagh, my grand mother was a full apotheosis of love. Her sons named their daughters after her. Everyone knew her as “Mama”. The mother possessed enough love for the entire Idung Uso village and Usung Inyang Clan. She was influential in her own right. She was a productive and independent woman. She made beautiful clothes and used the profits to cater to everyone that knew her. When Christmas came, her shop was ever buzzing with activities. A lot of Christmas cloth demands came and she found a way to meet them. She cooked large pots of food for everyone she knew and those who knew her. They ate, made merry, got comfortable and satisfied.
Mama invested her pride in a tall, fair, handsome man who embodied authority effortlessly. Many referred to him as a “white man”. While his wife was the female embodiment of love, David Etukudo Udondagh was the male version. Such an icon he was. He was a successful merchant with stores in Eket, Oron, Calabar, to list a few. He owned a hotel called “Homeland”. His sons managed the hotel years later after his passing. The elite of the community usually gathered at “Homeland” to watch musicians like Rex Lawson, Victor Uwaifo, amongst others perform. Papa David bought gifts of various kinds for family, friends even acquaintances. He catered to everyone as his heart could carry. His lifestyle completely brought the statement “mi casa, su casa” to life. Papa David and Mama Nkoyo had an exceeding abundance of love in their beings. Everything or the person they touched received the love. This love was so potent it exists amongst their children more than 50 years later.
The love between them grew strong as the years went by. When Papa got paralyzed due to an injection administered wrongly, Mama was by his side all the way. From the General Hospital in Eket to the University Cottage Hospital, in Ibadan, she was present. She abandoned everything that sought her attention to be with the man she loved. When he couldn’t move, she was on the floor of the male ward sleeping on a tiny mat because she wanted to identify with his pain. When he was flown to Ibadan in a stretcher, she was beside him speaking affirmative words. When he was able to lift the upper part of his body after many years, she was present to reassure him that he will get better. In a 14 year long paralysis, Mama constantly gave care and attention to Papa. All family members saluted her courage. She set a standard for women in her community without knowing.
In 1984, the self-taught, self-made enterprising giant and father of love and the community, slept. The battle for life ended and it broke the hearts of many. You ask, what about Mama? She slept 6 months later. Her lover went to rest and she couldn’t imagine life without a significant part of her being. All the time she invested in taking care of him came to an end and I bet she was sure she finished her work on earth. It was a deep loss for my father, uncles, aunty, family members, and the community at large.
When I reflect on stories about my grandparents, my mind is rife. I ask so many questions but few are available to answer. I think about how they lived with immense intention and so many generations after acknowledging their existence. I ponder on the impact they created that influenced people’s decisions and actions to be better. I meditate on the possibility of replicating this in our time and the actions to achieve this.
Yet, I am discouraged by the absence of the unique bond that brings people together for genuine reasons. The definition of love is misconstrued and that has affected how we treat ourselves. The contrast between the way of life then and now is so distinct.
But how do we want the quality of our lives to be? Do we want to reflect the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God? Do we want to be true messengers of God to the people around us? Are we going to allow things to deteriorate as days, weeks, months, years, go by? Or, are we going to take responsibility to make this world a little better than we met it?
As I ask you these questions, I ask myself too. The essence of our Supreme Being is LOVE. Confessions like, “I have the life of Christ in me” or “Christ in me the hope of glory” etc, make me feel uncomfortable. This is as a result of my unfaithfulness and dishonesty as a follower. Still, it is refreshing to know that in my generation, I am the Bethwether of The Legacy of Love, and YOU too can receive it.
Let’s challenge ourselves to make it our way of life. Let the generations after we harvest the fruits of the good seeds we’ve sown. Let’s Receive Love, Be Love, and Show Love!
Have A Love-filled Christmas and A Successful 2021!
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